balance

Disclaimer: I believe balance, when being preached correctly, is a great message. It is so important to do all the things you love so you can live a fulfilled life, and I’m so grateful that I am connected with many creators and friends who radiate positive energy and demonstrate true balance online (keep doing what you’re doing!). I do however believe that social media has redefined the concept, and the way a “balanced lifestyle” is communicated online can be toxic. That is why I wrote this blog post. To express my opinion about balance, and that oftentimes on social media, I see “balance” being projected as a mask for rigidity, despite its intended meaning.

bal·ance

noun

An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

verb

offset or compare the value of (one thing) with another.

You are scrolling through social media and come across your favorite influencer’s new reel: The video begins with clips of them waking up at 5am, working out, drinking their turmeric shots and gua sha-ing their face. Maybe they do a morning meditation or a walk. The second half of the video contains footage of them dining out with friends, drinking alcohol, eating dessert and attending concerts, parties or other big events. The caption reads: “You can do both”, “You can’t have one without the other”, “How I maintain balance” or something else along those lines. The seemingly innocent reel has now become a projection of insecurity created by social media’s unambiguous, polar definition of what it means to be “balanced”.

Social media has condensed the meaning of balance into one, cause-and-effect-like definition. The idea that one must practice balance (verb), in order to achieve balance (noun). More specifically, the idea that one must negate their experiences such as a fun night out, vacation, or Thanksgiving dinner with early morning pilates classes and green juice. It communicates that a home-cooked meal is somehow the opposite of going to dinner with friends, that a workout class is the opposite of watching a movie in bed, and that a side of fries is somehow the opposite of a salad. This projected concept, that creating memories is worth going “off track,” despite the message being well-intended, constitutes a mental divide. It perpetuates the idea that there is a “track” to defer from in the first place, establishing that there is a hard boundary around instagram’s definition of health versus everything else, and that one often comes at the expense of the other. It projects that different domains in your life possess moral value, and that balanced is found only in duality. It is restrictive.

There does not have to be a “duality of you.” Why does cooking healthy meals, working out and journalling get its own category, separate from the other parts of your life? This is not balance, this is confining yourself to a life where you are constantly making sacrifices. This is restricting yourself from being truly present in the moment, because a space in your mind is constantly dedicated to your internal dialogue, deciding what goes on the “good” versus “bad” side of the scale as you try and balance your life. This is mental exhaustion. What if you could just…be?

A true “balanced lifestyle,” the way I understand it, means pouring equal amounts of energy into each individual aspect of your life that you care about, without feeling like one contradicts another. I love long runs, trying new restaurants/coffee shops, movie marathons, family barbecues, nights out with my friends, lifting, researching for my internship, listening to music, sleeping in, traveling the world, and avocado toast. I don’t call this “balance,” because to me, balance means there is a scale. I believe that “balance”, as social media projects, implies that I must value each aspect of my life differently, in order to keep the scale from tipping. I don’t want the different parts of my life to have a metaphorical “weight.” I live a life of balance my way, not social media’s way, because I do not want to place moral value on any aspects of my life, as each of them collectively plays a role in defining who I am and the person I aspire to be.

SF